Heaven High and Happy Tuesday!
Today I want to talk to you about an aspect of communication: miscommunication.
Have you been in a situation where the person that you’re talking to took offense to what you were saying – even though your intentions were in the right place? Do you ever feel like you are often misquoted or misinterpreted in conversations? There are two big factors that should be taken into consideration when thinking about what can be done differently in these situations:
- Non-verbal cues and outside factors
- Lazy word choice
I would like to talk with you about the latter of those two: lazy word choice.
There are days where we don’t feel like talking with anyone, or perhaps even times when we shouldn’t talk to people: when we first get up in the morning, before we’ve had our morning cup of joe, right after we are frustrated about a situation, etc. During those times, we don’t necessarily think about what types of words or phrases we should choose.
In order to limit these types of encounters, it is imperative that we always be aware of the words that are coming out of our mouths. While we can’t be vigilant all the time, we may be able to lessen the damage by taking out certain words or phrases. Here are five examples of “words” that you should take out of every day use.
This can be construed in many different ways. Most of the time, it is used as a filler – instead of “dead air”. It is also seen as a weakness. In order to show more confidence in yourself and what you are talking about, this “word” should be taken out of your regular repertoire.
#2) ”You look tired.”
This phrase implies that the person you are talking to isn’t looking his or her best. While you may mean it as an observation or a form of sympathy, it may only come out as insulting. Instead of “you look tired”, why not ask the person if they are okay or if they have something on their mind.
Taking this word out of your vocabulary will strengthen your word choice and make your speech more confident – similar to taking out “um”.
#4) ”Always” and “Never”
The words “always” and “never” are absolutes. When you speak to someone in absolutes, they will often feel defensive. No one ever “always” or “never” does anything. There are exceptions to 99% of activities and actions that someone takes.
#5) ”Whatever you want”
You may be indifferent to the question that is being posed to you, but you should not respond with “whatever you want.” If someone asks you for your opinion, then your words matter to them. Don’t dismiss that. It is a sign of respect to be considered in this matter anyway. Even if you are indifferent to the question, you should offer up a couple of suggestions.
For example (a very common example), perhaps Bob and Sally are hungry for dinner. If Bob asks Sally what she wants to eat, she could reply with “whatever you want” but that won’t help solve their problem.
Bob: What do you want for dinner?
Sally: I don’t have a craving for anything in particular. However, I know that I’m not really feeling like Mexican or Italian tonight.
Another option could be…
Bob: What do you want for dinner?
Sally: I don’t feel strongly about anything in particular. A couple options that are close are…
Find out how you can communicate more effectively, create more empowering relationships at work and at home and build more confidence in your talents and abilities in 7 minutes or less. Click here to take the FREE FACTs Personality Detector Quiz
Well, until next time! B BOP!